Should I be worried my son's on TMZ?

I happened to be flipping through the channels one night & their was a blurb on Danny Devito at the Coachella Art & Music Festival. Seeing that #2 just returned, it piqued my interest to watch.
Imagine my surprise when I see #2 about 3 rows behind Mr. D. (just a little to his left).
I did what any parent would do - I recorded it.
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=33b85613-6ccb-4287-9718-e2583d61f4ef

Now I know why all the little people win Academy Awards

It ain't easy! I'm sure all the editors, sound editors, gaffers & sound and special effects earned every penny they made & deserve every bit of recognition.

I did a cable cooking show (5 minute meals with Marc - Eat your heart out Rachel Ray) about 25 years ago and it was rough then. It hasn't improved a lot since. Back then I just came up with the meal, brought all the stuff, made it and smiled. Someone else was in charge of credits, sound, lighting, music & such.

#3 son was suppose to help & did a lot of the camera work. but when it came to editing and stuff (where he shines) - he lost interest. Not sure why or what happened - I swear I was not a diva! Suffice to say I needed to learn very quickly how to edit, add sound. fades, titles, etc. Not an easy task for an old fogey such as yours truly. And to add insult to injury, I had a host of issues that popped up whilst #3 was in school that I had to deal with. Like the fact that all my raw footage looked like crapped (software issue). Then, when they were converted (over 65 files), these 65 files lost sound, think silent movie. All the witty repartee & Bon Mots disappeared faster than donuts at Kirstie Alley's house! So I had to think fast - How can I fix it? I did what any sane director/producer/writer does, I used plan B.

Plan B was a campy voice over of the whole thing. I basically made fun of myself. Think of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 meets Yard Crashers. It came out OK but I had to edit out an awful lot & it still was around 4 minutes (the amount of time casting can actually view it and not be board). While I wish I could have done more, I had a deadline & a pot roast to baste.

Lights - Camera - Action

Well, its no secret I watch TV. This form of entertainment has taught me many things. I especially like to watch people cooking and transforming things. I think the cooking is from my mom. As the baby in the family when my mom’s drug use was getting the best of her, I was the unlucky audience to her Julia Child.

I’d sit at the counter and watch as she explain (in detail) how to coddle an egg, or fold in a meringue. Not sure, but I think I was the only kid in 2nd grade that could de-bone a chicken.

As for Home improvement shows – Heck, anytime you can make something nice in a half hour – whats not to like? So it may come as no surprise to some that I’ve tossed my hat into the ring and applied to HGTV to be an All American Handyman.
I’ve had no luck in landing a real job, why not?

To get this far I had to fill out a 5 page detailed application that asked some very personal and insightful questions. Yes – A bit of soul-searching was in order as well as photos of my projects, and of course, myself. Now, by the time I was done with the application and all the legal disclaimers it was over 13 pages. I know the competition is steep with professional actors & pretty boys, some of whom may have actually used a tool. But I figured why not!

Imagine my surprise when I get an email from casting asking for a reel. Well, Us guys from Cucamonga don’t have reels, so now I get to play director as well. Heck this may turn out to a new career – I’ve always wanted to direct.

The Evil HR People

I’ve learned over the years to never trust HR personnel. It took me years to understand that their kind, nice, and sincere attitude was only a façade. Same goes for Recruiters, which I believe are the evil cousins of HR personnel.

When your employed, HR folk find out things about you they really have no reason to know. I’m talking your medical history, credit scores and your GPA in school. Now for the most part this is fairly harmless information, but some have been less than professional and leaked this information. Take it from me, I know.

Recruiters are even worse. They advertise perfect jobs and extol the benefits to the unemployed like a donut maker at a Jenny Craig meeting. You tailor your resume to suit and then wait. And wait. And wait. They never respond to your follow up emails or phone calls. Never. The only time you hear from either recruiters or HR is when you get a rejection email (I’ve had 5 in one day!) and they either never reference the company nor the position so you have no idea of who or why. Its very depressing to send your resume with read and respond tagged to your email so you can see if/and when they read it and see the following - "Your message was deleted without being read on Saturday, April 24, 2010 8:10:31 PM (GMT-08:00) Pacific Time (US & Canada)."

Taxes – Bloody Taxes

Its not enough that I have property taxes due the beginning of April, but was also blessed with that annual event that happens on the 15^th – The Blood Letting of America.

This year, I tried to complete my taxes several different ways – single, married joint, married separate. There is no escaping it, I had to pay. Seems I was too busy to run a side business this year & all those wonderful deductions fell to the way-side. Like watching money blow away. That, coupled with my two-legged deductions that keep getting older and therefore, no longer useful in that department – It’s a no win situation. I wish someone would tell Uncle Sam that the ex-deductions still live here and have to eat.

Olive oil update

Yeah, the crime of the century was actually a non-event. Seems Son # 2 used it and some salt as some form of facial rub. Relax Bubbelah, I’ve replaced them. Now, if I can just get to the bottom of the colander caper. . . .

My Electrician

So I go to see my electrophysiologist (some called them an EP, I call him “the electrician” as opposed to my cardiologist – “the Plumber”). He’s the guy that monitor’s my heart’s electrical activity. Its really a very interesting visit in a scientific kind of way. They put a paddle on my upper left clavicle area where “my little friend” is implanted. (Visually you can’t see it, but you can feel it.) then they test it by surging power to it. You can feel your upper Atria and then your lower Ventricles vibrate. You do get dizzy as your brain is not getting 100% of the blood supply due to your quivering heart.

Then they interrogate it. Yup, they do a data dump & it spills all its information. So my Doctor says – “Oh looky, you’ve had 8 episodes of SVT (Supraventricular tachycardia) in the past 3 months !” now for all you lay folk out there, that’s a super fast heart beat. Usually they come on fast and if they don’t convert to sinus (normal) then they could trigger my device to kick in and either shock me, or monitor & wait. Amazing. Like a lifeguard. That and the fact that I’m Bluetooth is cool! I have a device at home that allows me to send a data dump if I’m not doing to well. I’ve done it a couple of times. It also reminds me to do it, should it sense something. It has this 4 inch light that glows off & on. Like the mother ship wanting to communicate.

So back to Dr. Bendarhi’s comment. “8 episodes - Have you’ve been under any stress lately?” “Yeah, you can say that.” was all I could muster.