Its final

According to the judge, as of July 21, I'm a single man.

What a difference a week makes

I love my job.
I really like the company.
I'm so happy.

I spent the week in Seattle. The MotherShip called me to learn the inner workings of the firm.
Some key notes during my visit:
Bring gym clothes - theres a free 24 hr fitness across from the hotel.
Alaska Pale Ale in a planning meeting - It was 3:30. . .
4 Massive Starbucks coffee makers on each of 2 floors. . .
Real Half & Half in the fridge (I almost wet myself)
I'm encouraged to question authority, They call it Pushing Back.
There is a full-time documentary videographer on staff. As well as fantastically talented photographer.
There are no org charts - Lots of pie charts, process diagrams, flow charts. This is truly a flat organization. No one, not the board members, partners, lawyers, comptroller - no one has an office. Its very cafeteria style (open, long tables/desks).
They have a system for everything and if not, your encouraged to share ideas for creating what is needed.
On my last day, they cooked (in a small conference room) pancakes and had mimosa's.

I think I'll be happy here.

And you wonder why this state is having problems!

I'm an honest guy. I don't lie or cheat (like some people I know, er- married). I trust others as I think they should trust me. Apparently - I goofed on my State taxes. Hey, I have no idea of what I did wrong, but I know it was an honest mistake. I got the dreaded letter from our lovely state franchise (like they want to replicate this mess elsewhere?) tax board. Basically they told me to compare my answers to there and you'll see the error. My mistake is for $14.46 - They list it as a estimated tax penalty. I know I'm being picky, but the language chafes me. PENALTY.

OK, I made a MISTAKE, an ERROR, I'm human. (ok, 99.98% human, the rest is thanks to Boston Scientific). I think what really frost me is that they are charging me $0.01 interest and fees. Yes, a P E N N Y. And it cost them $0.48 to mail this to me! I would have understood if they charged me a reasonable "fee" to cover their costs - Say $.50? a buck? two bucks?

Next year - I vow to make a real error - on purpose. I'm going to be off by $0.45!

I’m a facebook ludite

I admit I have but one fault (IMHO). I don’t really understand Facebook. I understand the premise of how I connect with others and see whats going on in their lives, but I’m also forced to see the soft white underbelly of humanity, and it sickens me. This afternoon I logged on (or is it logon? or Login?) to see something offensive on my wall . . .

“I FUCKING GIVE UP ON MY KID!!!!!!!!! FUCK HER SHE DONT EXIST TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “

This was one person’s rant to another, yet I can see it, and I’m sure if you accessed my page, this idiot’s rant would be visible for you to enjoy as well. Once I gained my composure, I wrote my mutual friend a PRIVATE email and let her know that not only do I know his name, his daughters name, and that he had the lack of decency to let the entire world know of his “issues.” I let her know that I hope that she never has access to Facebook or that her friends, family, school, or employer has access to view this jerks tirade.

I know that kids can wear us down, I know that life can be hard, but to put into words and share this WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD is plain wrong. Its not the language - Lords know I love a good cuss word, its the words that cannot be taken back, the image that can not be erase, the heartache shared and felt by millions but typically held privately. Also, to add insult to injury, this asshole has the balls to post 2 hours later that “I just scored 107,150 and earned a 100k Star Medal in Bejeweled Blitz! Here's a video of my awesome game.”

As quoted in Ferris Bueller's Day Off – I weep for the future.

Got a job!

After 6 months of unemployment, I finally have an offer. While it is not a great salary, and I’m taking a 25% hit, it’s a great job with a great firm that has a solid reputation. I’ll be their Markets Specialist – Kind of an odd name for the firm’s marketing director. I’ll be working out the LA office and doing pretty much what I’ve done in the past, Proposals, PR, and New Business Development. I’ll be working in concert with Headquarters in Seattle, so I may be traveling some. The bulk of their work is in China, so this may be interesting.

One of the odd perks and reason I decided to accept the offer (like I had a choice) was the fact that their PTO policy is structured so that they look at the time you’ve worked since you were 22. Therefore, I qualify for 4 weeks a year. Plus, I can bank & roll over half of that a year.

I’ll probably have to resurrect my freelance business again in order to repair the damage this unemployment has caused my savings account, but I look at this as way to augment my vacation fund as well.

Phone Play

You know I have too much fuckin free time when I do this shit -
I offer you an easy way to get folks to remember your phone number - mnemonics!
(sounds like a religion for Kirstie Allie and Tom Cruise)

I found a site and put in my phone number - Out popped:

wino-Mark

whom-Mark

I-on-Mark

go-on-ark

in-on-ark

(I've elected to not post my area code)

And consider my soon-to-be-ex, I thought this was amusing:

wino-ma-75

Give it a go!

http://phonespell.org/

The Elderly - Don't get me started !

If you know me, you know I’m an Ageist – I hate the elderly. I know, I know, one day I’ll be old you say. Well toots, No, I’ve got enough pills here to put half of Cucamonga in a coma. When I get to that point where diapers and counting liver spots is all I have to look forward to, then its time.

I don’t like the elderly. There, I said it. I don’t like the way they drive. I hate that they use carts in stores for 2 items. I hate walkers & canes. These folks block traffic on the streets and in the aisles of stores. Their slow, confused, and occasionally smelly.

Yeah, yeah - I know. It's not cool to complain about the elderly. But I'm going to Hell anyway, so screw it.

I just have a real problem trying to run out for a quick errand and being delayed by Ernie and Maude as forget which way they were traveling as they approach an intersection, or having to dodge Aunt Pearl in her enormous Oldsmobile as she attempts to park across three time zones.

The other day at the Gym I went in a bit later than usual. I forgot its Silver Sneaker time/day. I swear - it looked like Dawn of the Dead - All these old folks shuffling in, from the parking lot, the side walk, the street. Not one of them can figure out how to open the fucking door. Rather scary. . .

And don't get me started on going to the doctor's office. I have to see a cardiologist and some days it looks like God's waiting room. You can see the pity on their faces as they see me. I can see "he's too young to be here" in their eyes. (when in fact, some of these old broads may want to hook up with a nice young man like me with good insurance). I have to get that vision burned off my eyes.