Still tired

So tired. I did my timecard yesterday - 3 days into the pay period and I have 48 hours! something is wrong here. That coupled with the fact that I'm still cutting down my meds (cut in half every month, in the home stretch now) and a grueling work schedule - and I'm pooped.

Friday I was lucky (?) enough to deliver the proposal to the client in Denver (and this is the NFL project in downtown Los Angeles). Denver was fine. Got it there 2 hours early & gave a Gensler guy a ride back to the airport - New to the firm/career & wondered if it will always be this bad. I told him I started in my twenties, that was 80 lbs ago, and then I told him I'm 32. You should have seen his jaw drop.

Taking Monday off - Sadly, my EP office called & it appears my device is sending him reports he doesn't like. Guess where I get to go on my day off - to my doctor's office in LA!

Brilliant Idea!

I was bummed recently with trying to get the house refi'ed so I can get rid of any obligations I have with the ex. Its taken 4 months!. Seems mortgage company didn't like the language used in the paperwork and had lots of questions. Some I could see as they pertained to the settlement, others - a bit prying as they dealt with custody issues (and I can see how this affects my qualifying if I had payments). So back to my depression. . . it was further amplified as I asked the paralegal who dd the paperwork if I was vulnerable and yup - I was. You see, I did not seek half of the ex-wife's retirement account as we both knew I would not be able to qualify for refinancing the entire equity of the house. We both agreed that this was a fair resolution, though not reflected in paperwork. So I forgo the retirement AND I owe her 50% of the equity! Well - Once ex saw the appraisal, I'm sure dollar signs danced in her head (Lipo, boobs, facelift, travel, fly boyfriend out from England again). She had, in fact, inquired if I could actually access her retirement (I could but it would cost too much). So I was a bit nervous. I needed her to sign off on the amount I could qualify for (a difference of about $22K ) fast and I'm thinking she must be talking to others who are coaching her to screw me.

So. . . . While getting rid of gas at work (I won’t elaborate any more) it occurred to me how I should handle any possible “financial issues” with the ex –

If she decides to play ugly and ask for the entire 90K rather than the 60-67K I can afford (and she agreed to), I can counter with one of two things:

“Hey – you have legal first right of refusal on the house” – She can buy me out! (as she can qualify for a higher mortgage) Or -

I’ll just sell it (a hassle), but if she refuses to buy it that’s the only option, If I sell, it’ll only net her possibly 60 on a good day. Besides, if either of these two events happen, she will owe me the mortgage & taxes I’ve paid so far (as it contributed to her equity as well - about an additional 20K)

So I feel much better (both financially and physically) thank you.

exhausted

I'm pooped. I've worked 3 weeks in a row without a break. Weekends spent in Los Angeles, while tourists are gawking below are annoying.
I really feel used too. I don't mind the occasional crunch, but I have 4 people that feed me work. 2 are in Asia most of the time & their partners so you just have to kind of suck it up. They aren't the bad ones, its the senior associates (or Sr.Asses). They've got something to prove & "by god, their gonna prove it - through me!" I call one AssholeAmy & the other is DoucheDude. AA is anal to the highest degree. Her bunghole is so tight, you can insert charcoal & she'll shit diamonds. She means well, but she is basically an overachiever with no life so she takes on EVERYTHING in the office. Kind of like a high school cheerleader on speed. She makes changes upon changes and if your don't make the changes fast enough, she'll do it herself.
DoucheDude was named by others as he lacks common courtesy of saying thank you. He also has other character flaws like he promises things then forgets, or my favorite - work bombs. He likes to drop little annoying tasks one on top of another. I don't think he's malicious or mean, just careless in how his actions affect others. When he asked how my weekend was, He meant well. When I answered "shitty, spent it here - again". He had the perfect opportunity to say - "Sorry, I appreciate it". But he doesn't.
The fact that I'm paid soooo much less than before, and now my expenses are going up as I got to pay off the one who lied to and cheated on me. They keep telling me that my bonus is structured by how much OT I do. Well toots, I've got 20+ years experience and I know that in this industry, at this time, bonuses are like carrots to horses. I'm not keen on having one dangled in front of me, and a can pretty much tell when their blowing smoke up my ass, and frankly, I can't see 3 feet in front of me. I guess, whats worse is that bonuses are not paid at the holiday season - they pay at fiscal year end, in March. I'll wait to see if in fact there is any kind of renumeration or mentioning of my hard work at Christmas. If I feel their still lying, I'm letting those recruiters know I'm exhausted, er . . . interested.

My pledge as your friend. . .

1. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
5. When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick ~ Stay the fuck away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
9. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end.

Why- you may ask??
~ because you are my friend.

Weekend at Bernies - or my Vegas trip with #2

Anyone who’s seen Weekend at Bernie’s, this just about sums up my weekend in Vegas.

Yes – I felt like Bernie

Lets start at the beginning. Hoover Dam. I was last there as a kid. Despite being in Vegas every summer of my childhood, I can’t recall ever going. I can Gar-an-damn-tee you that my parents would not likely invest the .50¢ it probably cost back then to do the tour. As an adult I always wanted to go but my ex thought it dull, besides, it would take precious time away from the tables, free drinks and the gray haze of casino cigarette smoke.

So #2 & his BF helped me realize an item on my bucket list. Sadly. Now, due to my AICD, I can’t go below! SHIT!

So we walked across & it is truly an amazing experience. Very humbling to think of how they built this HUGE dam & the concrete is still curing! Its 600 feet thick at the bottom and just 43 feet thick at the top. Of course #2 & BF were more interested in the 5-man german bike team walking around in lyrca shorts looking like there smuggling plums in their shorts.

So onward to Vegas - but I had a surprise for #2. Because hotels never allow you to check in at a convenient time, I made arrangements for him to do Indoor Skydiving. He had a blast & actually did very well. So off to the hotel we go. Remember that $49.00 rate I got? Well, they tried to charge me $349. for #2's room. After a bit of arguing we settled on $79. for his room and he still got $60. slot credit, and a fantasy room so I thought it fair.

Due to his drinking and short attention span, the only casino games he latched onto was Roulette and both him & BF had fun & did OK. We took in Downtown one afternoon and they were not too impressed. Later we did Dick’s Last Resort for dinner. It was fun & the food was surprising good. They force patron to wear homemade hats with sayings like “I shaved my balls for this?” or “Dr. Phil makes me moist” Not exactly family entertainment, but we had fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1UjPYmWTdA&NR=1

Some observation –
City Centre is way too big. Very difficult to navigate. Also – I’m really getting sick of porn-slappers. I’m beginning to think they are specifically breeding them – You know, those short Guatemalans that slap the business card before they force it upon you at all the major corners in Vegas. I used to think they were all retired jockeys who didn’t make their weight class then said to hell with it & came to Vegas. Can you imagine what their employment review are like? “I’m sorry Hector, your slapping is not forceful & your not getting into everyone way enough to be effective, turn in your ill-fitting tee-shirt.”

All in all a good time, but I felt a bit out of place most of the time – A bit like Bernie.

Suprise at Mayo Clinic

While I was at the Mayo Clinic doing my heart evaluation, I agreed to meet meet up with an HCM'r and her niece. Since they did not have any email access & I didn't want to give out my cell phone, we agreed the previous week to meet at the Grand Piano @ 5:00 on Thursday.
If your not aware, the Mayo really several tall buildings, each added in a different decade. Tying the latest additions is a beautiful light filled atrium that rises 3-4 stories and is windows on one side and elevators on the back side. They have several Grand Pianos throughout the facility and the main one is in this lobby area & its not uncommon to have someone sit down & play. They also hire someone who plays standards & all the old folk gather around & sing along.
Anyways - Being 5 o'clock, the building was emptying out & doctors, nurses, and researchers were leaving. I sat down & waited for my new friend to show up. Her niece walked up to me and introduced herself and said that Mary would be a while longer. We talked & learned a bit more about each other and this large burly guy in green scrubs walks up and asks if he can play - SURE! Please do! we both said, and he played very well indeed. His first piece was Moonlight Sonata and as he was playing the second number, I glanced over and happened to notice that his scrubs were riding low and the back of his top was cresting his muffin-top. And there it was - A purple thong!
I guess my expression got the most of me as the niece noticed my eyes bugging out or some other clue that prevents me from becoming a professional poker player. She did a quick 180 and notice the same visual assault and commented that the colors clashed. It was difficult to keep from laughing, but we agreed he could wear anything he liked, as long as he played as well as he did.
I'll post more on my visit on my next posting.

Mayo - The results

So I met with the Good Doctor O, and I also did the Mayo cardio gauntlet. You have to train for this like a marathon - 6-8 tests in 7 hours (lost count) in the glass Hab-i-trail that is the Mayo Clinic.

So I'm down 20 lbs from my Myectomy in 08, I've also shrunk in height. Stats on Echo look excellent. Echo took 1 hour & 20 min. Another 30 to verify results. (they run less than a half hour at Cedars Sinai in LA). They now look at Strain, which is a new thing for us HCM'r. Not sure if this is new at other centers, but its the first time I saw it. They take a measurement of the heart muscle (inside & ext diameter) then model the thickness. Then they document the muscle as it flexes during the pump. They then measure selected areas and record how this area (vertical & horizontal) flexes. Now that they have a base map of these sections they can compare how these areas do over time. If the flexes less, there is more thickening and scar tissue. Dr. Ommen explained that they can actually see minute HCM traits before they become more apparent with traditional echo - but they need a baseline to begin with. Again, Its the reason to come to a research center for cutting-edge care.

I also did the exercise test and didn't do as well as I'd have liked. Couple of issues affected it. I have a horrible cold, a bad knee, and a paralyzed diaphragm. That coupled with beta blockers, and ICD and I performed at about 75% of normal non-HCM guy my age. So I got the usual lecture on Cholesterol (I'm normal - but my LDL is elevated), Need to lose more weight (no surprise), and need to get back in the gym (since my syncope in Aug I've not gone).

Good news - No surgery ! The Watchman device is overkill. Not an issue with me since my last documented Afib run in '08 and we're going to go off beta blockers slowly & see how I do. I'm currently on 150 a day (75 am, 50 pm) and were going to just 75 a day for 3 weeks and see, if things go well, then down to 25 and wait again. So now that I know if safe for me to go, I'm going back to the gym, Going to lose another 20 & get off those BB & see if I can do any better on my next visit. Its good to have goals.

There's a prince visiting and the place was abuzz, and this one tech, with the sweetest mid-western twang said to me when I commented on him - "Ya know, he's treated no differently than you, we just accommodate his security entourage - thats it, your just as special to us, don't ya know"

I needed that on this birthday!