If you know me, you know I’m an Ageist – I hate the elderly. I know, I know, one day I’ll be old you say. Well toots, No, I’ve got enough pills here to put half of Cucamonga in a coma. When I get to that point where diapers and counting liver spots is all I have to look forward to, then its time.
I don’t like the elderly. There, I said it. I don’t like the way they drive. I hate that they use carts in stores for 2 items. I hate walkers & canes. These folks block traffic on the streets and in the aisles of stores. Their slow, confused, and occasionally smelly.
Yeah, yeah - I know. It's not cool to complain about the elderly. But I'm going to Hell anyway, so screw it.
I just have a real problem trying to run out for a quick errand and being delayed by Ernie and Maude as forget which way they were traveling as they approach an intersection, or having to dodge Aunt Pearl in her enormous Oldsmobile as she attempts to park across three time zones.
The other day at the Gym I went in a bit later than usual. I forgot its Silver Sneaker time/day. I swear - it looked like Dawn of the Dead - All these old folks shuffling in, from the parking lot, the side walk, the street. Not one of them can figure out how to open the fucking door. Rather scary. . .
And don't get me started on going to the doctor's office. I have to see a cardiologist and some days it looks like God's waiting room. You can see the pity on their faces as they see me. I can see "he's too young to be here" in their eyes. (when in fact, some of these old broads may want to hook up with a nice young man like me with good insurance). I have to get that vision burned off my eyes.