Saturday, November 6, 2010

Weekend at Bernies - or my Vegas trip with #2

Anyone who’s seen Weekend at Bernie’s, this just about sums up my weekend in Vegas.

Yes – I felt like Bernie

Lets start at the beginning. Hoover Dam. I was last there as a kid. Despite being in Vegas every summer of my childhood, I can’t recall ever going. I can Gar-an-damn-tee you that my parents would not likely invest the .50¢ it probably cost back then to do the tour. As an adult I always wanted to go but my ex thought it dull, besides, it would take precious time away from the tables, free drinks and the gray haze of casino cigarette smoke.

So #2 & his BF helped me realize an item on my bucket list. Sadly. Now, due to my AICD, I can’t go below! SHIT!

So we walked across & it is truly an amazing experience. Very humbling to think of how they built this HUGE dam & the concrete is still curing! Its 600 feet thick at the bottom and just 43 feet thick at the top. Of course #2 & BF were more interested in the 5-man german bike team walking around in lyrca shorts looking like there smuggling plums in their shorts.

So onward to Vegas - but I had a surprise for #2. Because hotels never allow you to check in at a convenient time, I made arrangements for him to do Indoor Skydiving. He had a blast & actually did very well. So off to the hotel we go. Remember that $49.00 rate I got? Well, they tried to charge me $349. for #2's room. After a bit of arguing we settled on $79. for his room and he still got $60. slot credit, and a fantasy room so I thought it fair.

Due to his drinking and short attention span, the only casino games he latched onto was Roulette and both him & BF had fun & did OK. We took in Downtown one afternoon and they were not too impressed. Later we did Dick’s Last Resort for dinner. It was fun & the food was surprising good. They force patron to wear homemade hats with sayings like “I shaved my balls for this?” or “Dr. Phil makes me moist” Not exactly family entertainment, but we had fun!

Some observation –
City Centre is way too big. Very difficult to navigate. Also – I’m really getting sick of porn-slappers. I’m beginning to think they are specifically breeding them – You know, those short Guatemalans that slap the business card before they force it upon you at all the major corners in Vegas. I used to think they were all retired jockeys who didn’t make their weight class then said to hell with it & came to Vegas. Can you imagine what their employment review are like? “I’m sorry Hector, your slapping is not forceful & your not getting into everyone way enough to be effective, turn in your ill-fitting tee-shirt.”

All in all a good time, but I felt a bit out of place most of the time – A bit like Bernie.

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