I was bummed recently with trying to get the house refi'ed so I can get rid of any obligations I have with the ex. Its taken 4 months!. Seems mortgage company didn't like the language used in the paperwork and had lots of questions. Some I could see as they pertained to the settlement, others - a bit prying as they dealt with custody issues (and I can see how this affects my qualifying if I had payments). So back to my depression. . . it was further amplified as I asked the paralegal who dd the paperwork if I was vulnerable and yup - I was. You see, I did not seek half of the ex-wife's retirement account as we both knew I would not be able to qualify for refinancing the entire equity of the house. We both agreed that this was a fair resolution, though not reflected in paperwork. So I forgo the retirement AND I owe her 50% of the equity! Well - Once ex saw the appraisal, I'm sure dollar signs danced in her head (Lipo, boobs, facelift, travel, fly boyfriend out from England again). She had, in fact, inquired if I could actually access her retirement (I could but it would cost too much). So I was a bit nervous. I needed her to sign off on the amount I could qualify for (a difference of about $22K ) fast and I'm thinking she must be talking to others who are coaching her to screw me.
So. . . . While getting rid of gas at work (I won’t elaborate any more) it occurred to me how I should handle any possible “financial issues” with the ex –
If she decides to play ugly and ask for the entire 90K rather than the 60-67K I can afford (and she agreed to), I can counter with one of two things:
“Hey – you have legal first right of refusal on the house” – She can buy me out! (as she can qualify for a higher mortgage) Or -
I’ll just sell it (a hassle), but if she refuses to buy it that’s the only option, If I sell, it’ll only net her possibly 60 on a good day. Besides, if either of these two events happen, she will owe me the mortgage & taxes I’ve paid so far (as it contributed to her equity as well - about an additional 20K)
So I feel much better (both financially and physically) thank you.